2017
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Those of us living abroad on a visa have an important decision to make every year if we work on a contract-basis. Do we stay another year? Do we return to our home countries? Do we move our adventure to another country altogether?
The answers to those questions depends on a number of factors, and no one can make your decision for you. However, there are some important things you should ask yourself to aid in your decision.
- Do I love where I am more often than I hate it?
- What will I gain and lose by leaving or staying?
- Which is better for my career?
- What about my family?
1. Do I love where I am more often than I hate it?
People who live abroad, or even permanent expats, face challenges in daily life that they wouldn’t otherwise face. If you live in a country whose native language is not your own, illiteracy may be a daily challenge. Inability to communicate is potentially another. Those two things alone can be difficult to deal with and even more difficult to overcome, and for some people it is too much.
Culture shock is another factor. Whether we love our second home or not, culture shock is a part of life. Some days we love everything about the country we live in, some days we hate everything about it, from the social expectations to the way people dress.
Everyone experiences culture shock differently and to varying degrees. So you need to ask yourself: do you find yourself hating your host country more than you find yourself loving it? If so, it may be time to think about saying goodbye.
2. What will I gain and lose by leaving or staying?
Every major decision in life comes with pros and cons. When making your decision to stay in your host country or leave it, it is vital to make a list of the pros and cons of your choice. If the positives of leaving outweigh the negatives, maybe start thinking of leaving.
If the negatives outweigh the positives, staying may be the answer. Just be sure that your decision leaves you safe and secure, and that you have a support network you can turn to for help and guidance.
3. Which is better for my career?
A large number of us are abroad teaching language. Do you want to continue working in education? If not, it may be best to forgo continuing to gain experience in a field you’re not interested in, and start job hunting or make preparations to leave.
This can go for any field. If you work in any kind of temporary environment with little to no upward mobility or pay increases, continuing to build up experience in that field will do you no favours.
However, if you quite enjoy your field and don’t mind staying where you are, it is perfectly fine to stay. You need to decide which is best for you and your future, and keep your goals in mind.
4. What about my family?
This is probably the most difficult aspect of deciding whether to stay abroad or return home. Every family has a different dynamic, and for some people, being away from their family is painfully difficult; for others, less so.
As adults, we have to live with the fact that we see our families less and less as we create our own lives, and being abroad lessens that time even more. So you need to ask yourself if that lost time is worth what being abroad does for you. Maybe your situation abroad saved your life, and going back to your home country would be your end. Maybe you miss your family so much it hurts and you can’t imagine being away from them for any longer.
Most of us move away at some point in our lives, whether to another state, province, prefecture, or country. As much as we don’t like to think of it, at some point in our lives we will have to live without our families permanently.
The choice you have to make is whether the time before we lose them is more important, or the time after, where we have to live without them and still have proper lives. Go home and be with the family or stay put and build your career so you can have the life your parents wanted for you? It’s not an easy choice, and only you can make it.
Best of luck
Living abroad is challenging, fun, inspiring, and sometimes very very difficult. No one can tell us what choice to make when it comes to staying or leaving. Hopefully answering those four questions can help you organize your thoughts and make your decision more carefully and thoughtfully. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.
